Friday, 9 January 2015

How Calamity Jane helped me through depression. (Minus sasparilly.)


I can’t remember the last time I wrote about being depressed. But at the moment there’s a lot that I can’t remember.

I have spent hours, lately, walking around my house looking for things I have forgotten or lost. Normally, I don’t lose things. When I do, it makes me very anxious. It also tends to happen when I’m not well.

Things that I have lost lately include keys, books, phones, letters, various items of food. Information I have forgotten: how to drive to my husband’s office, whether I washed my hair this morning, what the name of this blog was.

Amid the fog, however, there are a small number of things I have not forgotten. Among them are all the words to The Deadwood Stage.

In the evenings I sit down in front of the television. My husband builds me huge leaping fires of coal and wood and I scorch my skin trying to sit close enough to get warm. My youngest daughter turns around and around on my lap like a little dog marking her bed before settling.

Then the screen lights up, with a blast of golden trumpets and technicolour, and we stop fidgeting.

Calamity Jane. It’s such a ridiculous film, so silly and out of date that I am smiling by the first minute and the first line of the first song - which is of course about The Deadwood Stage, careering into town in clouds of dust and flapping curtains, and bearing a bright-faced, curly-haired heroine. 

I love Calamity Jane. I love her for her name – patron saint of those of us who can’t remember anything and keep banging their heads and bruising their elbows in the process of looking – but I also love her because she’s only been on screen for three minutes now and she is literally – literally -- slapping her buckskin-clad thigh while rhyming ‘heading over the hills’ with ‘Injun arrows thicker than porcupine quills’.

Encircled in my arms, five-year-old Betty gives a great shout of delight.

For the next hour and a bit we watch Calamity Jane gallop like mad, shoot anything that moves and sling back "sasparilly". We watch her tell tall stories, make mistakes, fall in love with the wrong man, and match him up with the wrong woman. We watch her try to pretty herself up only to fall in a muddy creek and get laughed at. And we watch her come up smiling – and usually singing -- time after time.

Yes, it’s terribly cheesy. But it’s also funny, mostly on purpose, and it’s a tonic to see this young woman clowning and capering and not caring what people think of her.

When the film has finished and the fire has crumbled to embers and my daughter is asleep in my arms with her cheeks flushed, I think to myself that I must try to care less and laugh more.

The next morning it’s raining and the sky is dark and my first thought on waking is “Oh no” quickly followed by “I can’t.”

But Betty needs to go to school so I get up and get her ready and we leave the house. I have managed to find my keys, which is a good thing, but I am also struggling not to cry, which most definitely is a problem, particularly as we are still only at the garden gate.

Then I hear something. Beside me, Betty is singing a faint tune. As I make out what it is I start to smile. I look over, and my daughter tilts her head back into the rain to see me from underneath the curve of her bee-embroidered umbrella. She reaches out her spare hand.

“Whip crack-away!” she urges, grinning. "Whip crack-away, Mummy!"





28 comments:

  1. Got to love Doris Day. Anything that helps you had got to be good. Be brave!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I was depressed when doctor told me that I have been diagnosed with Herpes disease… I thought about my Family, I know my Family will face a serious problem when I'm gone, I lost hope and I wept all day, but one day I was searching the internet I found Dr.ezomo contact number. +2349069171173 I called him and he guided me. I asked him for solutions and he started the remedies for my health. Thank God, now everything is fine, I'm cured by Dr.ezomo herbal medicine, I'm very thankful to Dr.ezomo and very happy with my hubby and family. email him on dr.ezomorootandherbals@gmail.com or you can also reach him through WhatsApp number+2349069171173
      He can also cure so many sickness
      {1}HIV And AIDS
      {2}Diabetes
      {3}Epilepsy
      {4}Blood Cancer
      {5}HPV
      {7}ALS
      {8}Hepatitis

      Delete
    2. Am here to appreciate Dr Emmanuel for using his herbal medicine to cure my herpes virus. since 3 years now I have been living with this virus and it has been giving me challenges, I was so perplexed cause i have been taking several drugs to be cured but all of my effort was in vain,one morning i was browsing through the internet then i saw several testimonies about Dr. Emmanuel curing people from Herpes virus and immediately i contacted Dr. Emmanuel on his email: nativehealthclinic@gmail.com, i told him about my troubles and he told me that i must be cured, gave me some instructions and which i rightly followed. so he prepared a herbal medicine for me and sent it to me which i used for 2 weeks and everything was like a dream to me and my Herpes virus was totally gone, why don't you contact him today and be free from your diseases because he is very good and honest Doctor. contact him via email; nativehealthclinic@gmail.com or whatsApp/Call him on +2348140073965 God bless him for me.he also cured HIV/AID,genital ,wart,COPD,cancel and all kind of disease and virus

      Delete
    3. Greetings to every one that is reading this testimony. I had been rejected by my husband after five(5) years of marriage just because another woman had cast a spell on him and he left me with 2 kids to suffer. One day when i was reading through the web, i saw a post on how he help a woman to get back her husband and i gave him a chance he told me that my husband is under spell, he said that he will help me and after 7 days that i will have my husband back. i believed he and today i am glad to let you all know that this spell caster has the power to bring lovers back now my husband is back with after 7 days . he also gave me a financial magic ring to boost my business and removed bad luck. i am now happy with my husband. Thanks you Dr. love please contact him at (lovespelldoctor0@gmail. com)

      Delete
    4. Good-day viewers that is reading this article, i want to share to the world how this great man save me from HERPES VIRUS 1/2 3years back i was battling with this terrible and disastrous disease which was so detesting,well on my aid of looking for solution all my effort conceived nothing, I was devastated but one day out of great enthusiasm i saw this intrigue testimonies about Dr Ojoka so afterwards i contacted Dr ojoka on his emails: (drojokarootandherbal@gmail com) I explained myself to him and i obeyed all his instruction without protesting any further he assured me that all will be fine and that was it,i was totally cure when i used the herbal medicine that was sent to me,Thank so much sir Dr Ojoka for your help, Dr ojoka also cures several disease such as DIABETES, HIV AIDS, HEPATITIS B & C And many more, incase you are going through this same infection yours can also be cured, contact his mobile or What App : +2348144172934
      check his blog: https://perfectherbalcure.blogspot.com/check his blog: https://penisherbalenlarge.blogspot.com/

      Delete
  2. I love this post, I think we all find our ways of coping. I'm a member of Post 40 Bloggers online and I've included this in this week's autism submission. Much love Jeannette @autismmumma

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  3. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

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  4. A great blog, which I am only accessing now due to you standing for Mayor. It is inspiring to see someone cope with depression and an autistic daughter and work and still want to change things enough to stand for Mayor. Good Luck today.

    ReplyDelete
  5. I so truly wished you could actually be good for women, and I have wanted that for so long. with prince charles (wife murderer )as a matriarch , God help us women. and sorry to say, you are a sellout, 4 comments show women are 'worth so MUCH MORE '

    ReplyDelete
  6. SPECIAL THANKS TO DR WILLIAMS FOR THE AUTISM CURED HE
    RENDER TO MY SON.
    I'm giving a testimony about Dr. WILLIAMS for the great deed he have done for my family, he has
    the natural cure to autism, he cured my son from autism ,
    though I went through different website I saw a testimonies about this
    Dr Williams, I was like: 'Dr Williams have the autism cure why are
    people still suffering from it?' I thought of it, then I contact Dr Williams, I didn't believe him that much, I just wanted to give him a try, he replied my mail and Needed some Information about my son, then I sent them to him, he prepared the (CURE) and sent it to me through Courier Service he gave my details to the Courier Office, they told me that 1-3 days I will receive the package and my son took the medicine as prescribed by Dr Williams and i took my son for check-up 1 week after finishing the medicine, then the autism was not there anymore, if you are suffering from autism you can also contact him on his via email address: drwilliams098675@gmail.com for his help.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Great post mate, thank you for the valuable and useful information. Keep up the good work! FYI, please check these depression, stress and anxiety related articles:

    20 Ways to calm your mind – How to calm your mind


    22 Ways To Become More Positive – How To Become Positive


    25 Ways To Forget Unwanted Memories – How to Forget a Bad Memory


    Top 25 Ways To Reduce Stress – How To Reduce Stress


    21 Ways To Get Rid Of Anger – How To Get Rid Of Anger


    How to Know When Depression Is Serious


    21 Ways To Get Rid Of Anger – Alcohol and Depression


    you can also contact me at depressioncure.net@gmail.com for link exchange, article exchange or for advertisement.

    Thanks

    ReplyDelete

  8. I am bold enough among many others to state that there is now a potent cure to this sickness but many are unaware of it. I discovered that I was infected with the virus 3 months ago, after a medical check-up. My doctor told me and I was shocked, confused and felt like my world has crumbled. I was dying slowly due to the announcement of my medical practitioner but he assured me that I could leave a normal life if I took my medications (as there was no medically known cure to Herpes). I went from churches to churches but soon found that my case needed urgent attention as I was growing lean due to fear of dying anytime soon. In a bid to look for a lasting solution to my predicament, I sought for solutions from the herbal world. I went online and searched for every powerful trado-medical practitioner that I could severe, cos I heard that the African Herbs had a cure to the Herpes syndrome. It was after a little time searching the web that I came across one Dr Itua(A powerful African Herbal Doctor), who offered to help me at a monetary fee. I had to comply as this was my final bus-stop to receiving a perfect healing. My last resolve was to take my life by myself, should this plan fail. At last it worked out well. He gave me some steps to follow and I meticulously carried out all his instructions. Last month, to be precise, I went back to the hospital to conduct another test and to my amazement, the results showed that negative,Dr Itua Can As Well Cure The Following Desease…Cancer,Hiv,Herpes,Shingles, Hepatitis B,Liver Inflammatory,Diabetis,Fribroid,Parkinson's,Alzheimer’s disease,Bechet’s disease,Crohn’s disease
    ,Cushing’s disease,Heart failure,Multiple Sclerosis,HypertensionFatal Familial Insomnia Factor V Leiden Mutation ,Epilepsy Dupuytren's disease,Desmoplastic small-round-cell tumor Diabetes ,Coeliac disease,Creutzfeldt–Jakob disease,Cerebral Amyloid Angiopathy, Ataxia,Arthritis,Amyotrophic Lateral Scoliosis,Autism,Fibromyalgia,Fluoroquinolone Toxicity
    Syndrome Fibrodysplasia Ossificans ProgresSclerosis,Seizures,Adrenocortical carcinoma.Asthma,Allergic diseases,,Copd,Glaucoma., Cataracts,Macular degeneration,Cardiovascular disease,Lung disease.Enlarged prostate,Osteoporosis.
    Dementia.,Lyme Disease,,Non Hodgkin Lymphoma,Skin Cancer,Uterine Cancer,Prostate Cancer Dercum,Hpv,Weak Erection,Infertility,fibromyalgia,Get Your Ex Back,Als,SYPHILLIS,Colo-Rectal Cancer,Blood Cancer,Breast CANCER,Lung Cancer,Prostate Cancer,Brain Cancer,Genetic disease,Epilepsy, Parkinson's disease..You can free yourself of this Herpes virus by consulting this great African Herbal Doctor via this e-mail: drituaherbalcenter@gmail.com / info@drituaherbalcenter.com. or call and whatsapp him on +2348149277967 He will help you and his herb medication is sure. he has the cure on all disease .You can talk to me on INSTAGRAM..tashamoore219....

    ReplyDelete
  9. DR WILLIAMS HERBAL CURE TO AUTISM.
    I was always praying to have a testimony when ever i saw people sharing their own testimonies which really took me years but today i am the happiest father on earth.My son suffered autism for 5 years, after taken different kind of western medication without been cured.All these years my son have been abnormal but today he is been cured.and you do not know how i feel having my son back to normal because it was not really easy for me having just two son and one been abnormal.I took time to search the internet which i found a lot of people thanking Dr. Williams concerning the same problem and i discussed it with my wife and she agreed will should give a try so we order his product which my son took for 28 days and he is very much okay now.I will advise you to stop wasting time on all these western medicine because they only work for some times and the problem bounce back again.Contact Dr.at drwilliams098675@gmail.com for advice and for his product and be the next to give your testimony.

    ReplyDelete
  10. I was depressed when doctor told me that I have been diagnosed with Herpes disease… I thought about my Family, I know my Family will face a serious problem when I'm gone, I lost hope and I wept all day, but one day I was searching the internet I found Dr.ezomo contact number. +2349069171173 I called him and he guided me. I asked him for solutions and he started the remedies for my health. Thank God, now everything is fine, I'm cured by Dr.ezomo herbal medicine, I'm very thankful to Dr.ezomo and very happy with my hubby and family. email him on dr.ezomorootandherbals@gmail.com or you can also reach him through WhatsApp number+2349069171173
    He can also cure so many sickness
    {1}HIV And AIDS
    {2}Diabetes
    {3}Epilepsy
    {4}Blood Cancer
    {5}HPV
    {7}ALS
    {8}Hepatitis

    ReplyDelete
  11. An amazing testimony on how i conceive and also get cure from my fibroid permanently with his natural herbs , i wonder why people still don't believe that roots and herbs are very essential and fruitful in different aspect, especially when you can't conceive and bear children. I am a living witness because I tried all I could to be pregnant but all to no avail, on this faithful day, i decided to check the net for updates on healthy living and i came across testimonies of lot of women who Dr Onokun has helped with his native herbs to conceive. i decided to put a try because this has been my greatest problem in life so I emailed Dr Onokun, and he told me what to do which i did, after which he sent me some roots and herbs syrup and gave me step by step guild lines on how and when to have sex with my man. I missed my menstrual flow within a short period of taking it, and the doctor confirmed that I am pregnant. I am very glad to tell the world that I just put to bed a bouncing baby boy last week. Contact Dr Onokun for your own testimony on: Dronokunherbalcure@gmail.com Or WhatsApp: +2349064844957

    ReplyDelete
  12. Hey mate, it is very well written article, thank you for the valuable and useful information you provide in this post. Keep up the good work! FYI, please check these depression, stress and anxiety related articles:


    Overcome Depression

    Get Rid of Depression

    Deal With Depression

    Depression Management Tips

    Depression Cure

    Teenage Pregnancy


    You can also contact me at teenagepregnancy.net@gmail.com for link exchange, article exchange or for advertisement.

    Thanks

    Raina

    ReplyDelete
  13. 5 years ago I had warts, I was treated with some liquid applied to the warts they continued to grow and spread... The next 2 doctors did laser surgery to remove them. 1 year after the surgery, they grew back close to where the 1st ones were' so I was finally told it was hpv. I have had it for very long time, I contract it from my cheated boyfriend and I found out he was also infected and I end up the relationship between us. the warts was so embarrasses because it started spreading all over I have be dealing with this things for very long time the last treatment I take was About 2 years ago I applied natural treatment from Dr onokun herbal cure, a week after applying the treatment all the warts was gone. it's now 2 years and some months I don't have single wart or any symptoms of hpv. wow"" it's great, Dr onokun has finally cured me. Anyone living with hpv contact Dr onokun for natural treatment.
    His email address: dronokunherbalcure@gmail.com  

    ReplyDelete
  14. Am here to appreciate Dr Emmanuel for using his herbal medicine to cure my herpes virus. since 3 years now I have been living with this virus and it has been giving me challenges, I was so perplexed cause i have been taking several drugs to be cured but all of my effort was in vain,one morning i was browsing through the internet then i saw several testimonies about Dr. Emmanuel curing people from Herpes virus and immediately i contacted Dr. Emmanuel on his email: nativehealthclinic@gmail.com, i told him about my troubles and he told me that i must be cured, gave me some instructions and which i rightly followed. so he prepared a herbal medicine for me and sent it to me which i used for 2 weeks and everything was like a dream to me and my Herpes virus was totally gone, why don't you contact him today and be free from your diseases because he is very good and honest Doctor. contact him via email; nativehealthclinic@gmail.com or whatsApp/Call him on +2348140073965 God bless him for me.he also cured HIV/AID,genital ,wart,COPD,cancel and all kind of disease and virus

    ReplyDelete
  15. 5 years ago I had warts, I was treated with some liquid applied to the warts they continued to grow and spread... The next 2 doctors did laser surgery to remove them. 1 year after the surgery, they grew back close to where the 1st ones were' so I was finally told it was hpv. I have had it for very long time, I contract it from my cheated boyfriend and I found out he was also infected and I end up the relationship between us. the warts was so embarrasses because it started spreading all over I have be dealing with this things for very long time the last treatment I take was About 2 years ago I applied natural treatment from Dr onokun herbal cure, a week after applying the treatment all the warts was gone. it's now 2 years and some months I don't have single wart or any symptoms of hpv. wow"" it's great, Dr onokun has finally cured me. Anyone living with hpv contact Dr onokun for natural treatment.
    His email address: dronokunherbalcure@gmail.com  

    ReplyDelete
  16. Hello everyone out there, I'm here to give my testimony about a herbalist doctor who helped me. I was infected with HERPES SIMPLEX VIRUS in 2011, I went to many hospitals to heal myself but there was no solution, so I was thinking how I can get a solution so that my body can be well. One day I was in the river thinking about where I can go to get a solution. so a lady walked towards me telling me why I'm so sad and I open everything by telling her my problem, she told me she could help me, she introduced me to a doctor who uses herbal medicines to cure the SIMPLEX HERPES VIRUS and gave me your email, so I sent you an email. He told me everything I had to do and also gave me instructions to take, which I followed correctly. Before I knew what was happening after two weeks, the SIMPLEX HERPES VIRUS that was in my body disappeared. therefore, if you also have a broken heart and need help, you can also send an email to {oliha.miraclemedicine@gmail.com}or whatsapp him number: +2349038382931 or Facebook page https://www.facebook.com/drolihamiraclemedicine/Contact him today and he will have a testimony ... Good luck!
    Dr. OLIHA also cures:1. HIV / AIDS2. HERPES 1/23. CANCER4. ALS (Lou Gehrig's disease)5. Hepatitis B6. chronic pancreatic7. emphysema8. COPD (chronic obstructive pulmonary disease)

    ReplyDelete
  17. hello viewers all over the globe am very happy today to share my testimony
    on how i was cure from HERPES disease, i have been suffering from herpes
    for the pass 9 months which makes me had constant pain all over my body, i
    have went to several hospitals taking treatment from doctors, but still
    know improvement till i meet a old friend of mine who direct me to a great
    traditional herbalist called Dr AKIOYA which i contacted by email so
    luckily he reply back i explain my problem to him and he told me not to
    worry that his going to prepare the herbal medicine and send to me which
    will cure me forever, i believed in him, after all the procedures given to
    me by Dr AKIOYA few weeks later i went to see my doctor to confirm if i was
    finally cure, the result was positive am totally cured by this great
    herbalist my life is more important now am free and happy if you have such
    sickness or any kind of disease like HIV And AIDS, Diabetes, Epilepsy,
    Blood Cancer, HPV, ALS, Hepatitis A/B, pregnancy issues etc contact Dr
    AKIOYA details: akioya17spellhome@gmail.com or call +2348105257464 i will
    forever be grateful
    http://drakioyaherbalcenter.home.blog
    https://drakioyaherbalhome.blogspot.com/

    ReplyDelete
  18. As a sign of gratitude on how my son was saved from autism, i decided to reach out to those still suffering from this.
    My son suffered autism in the year 2013 and it was really tough and heartbreaking for me because he was my all and the symptoms were terrible, he always have difficulty with communication,and he always complain of poor eye contact  . we tried various therapies prescribed by our neurologist but none could cure him. I searched for a cure and i saw a testimony by someone who was cured and so many other with similar body problem, and they left the contact of this doctor who have the cure to autism . I never imagined autism  has a natural cure not until i contacted him and he assured me my son will be fine. I got the herbal medication he recommended and my son used it and in one months time he was fully okay even up till this moment he is so full of life.autism  has a cure and is a herbal cure,you can contact the doctor for more info on drwilliams098675@gmail.com on how to get this medication, Thanks.

    ReplyDelete
  19. As a sign of gratitude on how my son was saved from autism, i decided to reach out to those still suffering from this.
    My son suffered autism in the year 2013 and it was really tough and heartbreaking for me because he was my all and the symptoms were terrible, he always have difficulty with communication,and he always complain of poor eye contact  . we tried various therapies prescribed by our neurologist but none could cure him. I searched for a cure and i saw a testimony by someone who was cured and so many other with similar body problem, and they left the contact of this doctor who have the cure to autism . I never imagined autism  has a natural cure not until i contacted him and he assured me my son will be fine. I got the herbal medication he recommended and my son used it and in one months time he was fully okay even up till this moment he is so full of life.autism  has a cure and is a herbal cure,you can contact the doctor for more info on drwilliams098675@gmail.com on how to get this medication, Thanks.

    ReplyDelete
  20. Greetings to every one that is reading this testimony. I had been rejected by my husband after five(5) years of marriage just because another woman had cast a spell on him and he left me with 2 kids to suffer. One day when i was reading through the web, i saw a post on how he help a woman to get back her husband and i gave him a chance he told me that my husband is under spell, he said that he will help me and after 7 days that i will have my husband back. i believed he and today i am glad to let you all know that this spell caster has the power to bring lovers back now my husband is back with after 7 days . he also gave me a financial magic ring to boost my business and removed bad luck. i am now happy with my husband. Thanks you Dr. love please contact him at (lovespelldoctor0@gmail. com)

    ReplyDelete
  21. I'm 61 years old, I contracted hpv in 2011' I has be taking lot treatment for it and embarrassed some months ago the wart stated coming out seriously, I used lot recommendation because there was lot warts around my anus and was so . but today I'm totally happy I got the virus eliminated by using natural treatment from Dr Onokun herbal center after his treatment I got cured. all the warts went away' seriously believed Dr Onokun he have the cure for human papillomavirus because he has eliminated hpv been in my body since 2011, Dr Onokun make it possible for me. Here is Dr Onokun email to reach him: Dronokunherbalcure@gmail.com or www.Dronokunherbalcure.wordpress.com he is welled capable of curing terrible diseases.      

    ReplyDelete
  22. I was able to Enlarge my Penis by Dr.Aziba Natural Herbal Product. I was living a shameful life from my young age, just last month as I was browsing through the net about Penis size and Enlargement Products, I saw a testimony of a Man called George testifying of how he was able to get his penis Enlarged by Dr.Aziba and I decided to also Email( priestazibasolutioncenter@gmail.com ) for my small penis size and he quickly responded to me and gave me the normal instructions which i did and then he shipped the product to me here in the united state, Arizona. which i received in just 3 working days and today i am very happy because i started seeing positive changes in my penis size in just 7 days of use. Dr Aziba herbal product is the best recommended for you and to whom ever in need of thr product or having any other virus or infection should Contact this great herbal doctor via his Email : Priestazibasolutioncenter@gmail.com and WhatsApp Him on +2348100368288

    ReplyDelete
  23. I was able to Enlarge my Penis by Dr.Aziba Natural Herbal Product. I was living a shameful life from my young age, just last month as I was browsing through the net about Penis size and Enlargement Products, I saw a testimony of a Man called George testifying of how he was able to get his penis Enlarged by Dr.Aziba and I decided to also Email( priestazibasolutioncenter@gmail.com ) for my small penis size and he quickly responded to me and gave me the normal instructions which i did and then he shipped the product to me here in the united state, Arizona. which i received in just 3 working days and today i am very happy because i started seeing positive changes in my penis size in just 7 days of use. Dr Aziba herbal product is the best recommended for you and to whom ever in need of thr product or having any other virus or infection should Contact this great herbal doctor via his Email : Priestazibasolutioncenter@gmail.com and WhatsApp Him on +2348100368288

    ReplyDelete