I've used thousands of words in this blog.
Some days they have rushed out of me in a storm of rage. Other days they have swirled and bobbed like boats on the current of my thoughts. Some days they trickled as I cried. At other times they fell haphazardly as I struggled to make sense of the latest event to occur. There have been long gaps when no words would come to me at all.
Today I am full of words - fizzing and buzzing and quivering with them. But none of them could possibly do justice to how I feel. So I think actually this time I'm not going to use very many.
Today is the start of Grace's third week of the new school term: her first term since we got her statement of educational needs. In the two and a bit weeks since the new academic year started she has had her own learning assistant by her side in class and in the playground. When I pick her up these days she smiles at me and says: "Mummy, I had a great day."
My daughter has Asperger's Syndrome, with a side-order of ADHD and dyscalculia. My daughter also has a gift for drawing, for words and for music. For a long time these aspects of her life sat in parallel. We struggled to see a way ahead in which she could learn the things she did not know, and hone the skills that make her unique. School was a battleground and a misery.
But today, Grace brought a trophy home. She was awarded it in recognition of her achievements in maths in particular. Those who know the agonising murk of dyscalculia will realise how much this means. For everyone else: I could use hundreds of words to tell you how much this means. But for today, I'll just show you.
I always knew my daughter was a star. Today, she knows it too.
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